Are You Ready to Have the Best Year of Your LIFE
You can make it the best year of your life, it is you that can make that happen.
CREATE EVERYTHING YOU WANT
You are the creator in your life…you create your circumstances, you create your relationships, you create your experiences.
YOU CREATE EVERYTHING
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Welcome to today’s episode of the show, and happy New Year. Welcome to 2017. 2017, quite possibly the best year of your life. I don’t know, maybe not. Maybe you’re like super hungover right now and you’re like, “That was the shittiest year of my life.” But let’s be open to it being the best year of your life. And this isn’t some fluffy inspirational… I’d talk where it’s just like, “Yeah! It’s the best year no matter what.” Well, no. You can make it the best year of your life, but it is you determining that, it is you deciding that, it is you committing to that and it is you doing what it takes to make that happen. And that’s what this episode is all about which is creating everything you want and more for 2017. And that language is chosen specifically. Create everything you want because you are the creator in your life. You are not the victim of circumstance.
You create your circumstance, you create your life, you create your relationships, you create the success that you want. You create wealth, you create romantic love, you create friendships. You create everything. And right now, if certain areas are not where you want them to be, then you haven’t created it yet. And that’s true for all of us, right? None of us are at a 100% mastery of every area of life all the time. And so, we need to invest more energy and learn how to create what we want in that area. But all of the areas are important. If you’re listening to this show and you are struggling or wanting more— to be more free, less social anxiety, less self-doubt, less self-criticism, more confidence, more freedom, more boldness, more authenticity. I know it’s going to show up in every area of life. Because confidence is the doorway to success in all areas, of course in your relationships: Your social relationships with family, with friends, with colleagues, with co-workers, with bosses, with employees, as well as in your dating life in your romantic relationships.
Your ability to meet and date people that excite you— to freely be yourself. If what you want is to find someone to create an extraordinary life with, which I think deep down many of us want— you might want a phase of sowing your wild oats and dating tons of people— but I think deep down a lot of people eventually want to have an extraordinary relationship. I know it’s not for everybody. But I think the reason that a lot of people say they don’t want that is because they don’t think it’s possible. They think that relationships don’t last, that the love fades, that it just goes south quickly and etc. And I don’t believe that. These are the core areas that matter in life. And so this episode is about creating everything you want and more for 2017, and that’s what we’re going to do.
The first thing we’re going to do, to help you create everything you want is to find out what it is that you actually want. This episode I’m going to guide you through a couple of processes that will help you. You need to have a sheet of paper. Now I know, I know, this is a podcast and so you might be driving or at the gym or running or whatever; and you don’t have the ability to write this stuff down. And I know saying, “Come back and do it later.” It’s probably not going to happen, right? Because we’re busy. So, I would encourage you, if you can, get a sheet of paper and do this, and if not, you got to do it in your head. “What? Do it in my head?” Yes you can. Don’t worry it’s not that complicated. Just a couple of things, and I’ll guide you through with some questions. Are you ready? Are you ready to do something that can not only transform 2017 to make it the year that you create everything that you want for yourself, but actually set you on the course for every other year following to be even better because it builds off of this year? Are you ready to shift the course of your life and create your destiny and have what you really want in life? And if you haven’t listened to the last episode, which is about “Now is the Time.” I would encourage you to listen to that first before doing this. Because that one will get you fired up. That one will give you the motivation, the energy, and the drive. Because if you’re listening to this and saying “Oh man, creating things. Sounds like a lot of work. Can’t I just buy it? Press a button on my phone and download it?” No. You got to create it. And if you want that motivation, that energy, I tell some powerful stories in that episode, so check it out. It’s called “Now is the Time.” It’s just the previous one. Right before this one.
Let’s do this. It’s time to bring out the wheel. This is something that has been used in coaching for many many years. You might have done something like this but it’s always worth redoing it. And if you never heard of this before then this is going to be great for you. Here’s what I want you to do. You’re going to draw out a wheel and split it up like a pie into six different categories. now if you can’t write this down right now, just imagine a little circle pie in your head that has six different pieces. Each piece is the same size. So far so good?
Now each of these pieces is a piece of your life. It’s the areas of your life. The whole pie is your whole life. So these are the big areas that matter to us. For many people one of the pie slices is your health. Because you’re not healthy if you’re feeling weak, tired, sick, overweight, stiff; it’s hard to be confident, hard to be happy, hard to feel good. Health should be in everybody’s pie. Another one is your love life: dating and relationships. And I mean romantic relationships here. That’s a big one. Then there’s your career, that’s another big one. You know what, let’s actually mix into one career and finances. And I know that that might not be the same, but for a lot of people those are pretty closely linked, and so we’re going to put those two together— career/finances. Another category will be friends/family. That’s basically your social life: the people you interact with outside of your romantic relationship. It could be your kids, your parents, your brother, and friends. People that you love and know. Then the last category I’d put would be spiritual. You can call it something else if you want. Basically, it doesn’t have to be a religion but some way that you feel connected to something, whether it’s humanity, or the earth, or meditation, that we get to a place of silence in your mind or just being connected to your heart and feeling love for something, or just feel like, “Ok, I’m not some isolated pointless fragment of existence where I’m just going to die and nothing matters anyway.”
So don’t worry about remembering, if you can write all those down on your pie, that’s great. But if you can’t write right now, then don’t worry about writing it down, we’re going to go through each one. So here’s how the process works. We’re going to take each category and you’re going to give yourself a number in that category from zero to ten. Ten being, “It’s awesome. It’s exactly what I want to be. I’m crushing it. It’s going great. It’s amazing.” Zero is, “It’s absolutely dreadful and terrible and there’s nothing but pain in there and everything sucks and it’s all falling apart in that area.” This is a subjective test and I’m not here to tell you what your number is, and there’s no objective answer sheet or anything like that, so you decide. And it’s based on your standards and what you want for your life. No one else can tell you what they are for you.
So let’s go through that right now. For dating/relationships, where are you right now, zero to ten? Just give it a number (don’t over think it) right now. “You mean like today? Wednesday? This week?” I don’t know. This time in your life, this month, where you are right now. Dating/relationships; is it a three, is it a five, is it a seven, is it a ten? Maybe you are in an amazing relationship. You guys love each other, and you’re open, and you’re honest, and you support each other. I hope your standard for a ten is not, we never ever have a conflict and everything is a 1000% amazing 100% of the time. That’s a dangerous sign if you never have any conflicts. Conflicts are part of a relationship. But your version of a ten. It feels great, you guys are just right there together, and living life together, and you’re so grateful for them. And it feels really good.
What about your health? Your physical health? What will you give that? Are you in shape? Are you working out? Are you feeling good? Are you not in shape? Are you avoiding it? Do you have pain in your body? What number would you give it?
What about your career/finances? Is that where you want it to be? Are you satisfied with that? Are you not satisfied with that or are you in tons of debt? Maybe your finances are good but you hate the work that you do. So, in which case that would bring your number down from a ten, right? So what is it? Give it a number right now. First one that comes to mind.
What about your friends/family? Your social life outside of your romantic relationship? What number would you give that? And what about your spiritual life, spiritual side? It doesn’t mean you have to go to church, or a temple, or a mosque, or any sort of organized religion. Although that could be your way of connecting. It could be something else. It could be going out for hikes in the woods. It could be nothing, but you just feel it and you know where that is for you. It is probably certain practices you do that bring you closer to that. See what that is for you. Give it a number now.
If you’re doing this on paper, now you have a number for each of these categories. I want you to draw a line in the pie segments, across the pie segment as to where it is. So if it’s a ten, then the line is right up there near the edge of the circle on the far outside. If it’s low, then it’s right in towards the spoke of the wheel. Does that makes sense? So, by the end, you’re going to have six lines across the different segments of the pie, and if you shade in that area you’ll get your representation of a wheel. You will see if your wheel is round or lumpy. Like if you’ve mastered two areas, and two areas are totally dismal, your wheel’s going to look funky. And if you are doing this all in your head, at least write down, or try to remember what your numbers are for each area because that’s going to be important. Just take a moment, open up a file in your phone or something. You don’t have to do the whole wheel and draw it out, just each area, dating/relationships, just give it a number, because that’s going to give you something to work with here. So go ahead and do that now. We’re going to take a quick break and we’ll be right back right after this, where I’m going to teach you what to do with this, and how to discover what it is that you really want in each of these areas.
What did you have in those different areas? Here’s the question that I want to ask you next. What would a ten be? Maybe you’re a ten at some areas, but maybe you aren’t. Maybe you’re a seven or a five. Let’s just pick one area for example, let’s take your health. What would need to be happening in order for you to give that a ten? How would you need to feel? What kind of activities would you need to be doing? What kind of shape would you need to be in? What would need to be happening for that to be a ten? Think about that now for your health, and get specific! Like, “I lose some weight,” or something like that, that’s not very specific. That’s not going to give you clarity on exactly what you want. What does it mean? “I want to lose 10 pounds of fat in my stomach. I want to lower my body fat percentage from…” Maybe you don’t even know what your body fat percentage is. But maybe you want to lower it, so if you don’t know, maybe it’s worth finding out, so you have some marker to see how you’re doing. Maybe you want to be able to do certain activities that you haven’t done in a long time. Maybe you want to resolve some sort of pain that you have physically, in your body.
Side-note, by the way, if you want to learn the most life-transforming way to rapidly resolve hundreds of different pain conditions including neck pain, back pain, shoulder pain, wrist pain, foot pain, plantar fasciitis, hip pain, and tons of other things, I highly recommend checking out the work of John Sarno, M.D. He’s got a book called “Healing Back Pain” which is life transforming as well as “The Mind-Body Prescription.” Those books can change your life for the better, and forever, and change your health.
But anyway, what would a ten look like for you in health? Get clear on that. Maybe take some notes. And if you’re not writing things down, shame on you. Just kidding. But think about it right now. As you’re pumping iron, maybe you’re in a gym already listening to this. Or maybe as you’re driving. Just think about it. And if you want more time to think about it, pause this and reflect on it for a few minutes. Really get clear what exactly would need to be happening for me to get a ten in my health.
What about in your dating and relationship life? What would you need to have a ten there? “I want to be able to meet someone, and have a girlfriend or boyfriend.” Maybe for you, it’s like “I got to be married for it to be a ten,” and that’s okay, you don’t have to say, “Well I can’t get that right away so I should make it…” no, maybe that’s your version of a ten and that’s fine. You know that about yourself and you have clarity.
Maybe it’s not about a specific other person, but it’s about the ability to just have confidence to approach people, and connect, and have dates. To have some interaction with the people you find attractive. Maybe that ability gives you a high number. I know that did for me. What is it for you? Maybe it’s a certain kind of relationship. Maybe you’re already in a relationship, but you’re not that into them, or there’s a lot of fighting, it’s just hard, and you are just on this merry-go-round of, “Should I stay or should I go? I don’t know.” and you’ve been there for a year. Maybe you want to be in a relationship where you feel fully committed, fully certain, that you know this is the person for you for the rest of your life, and you’re extremely happy and grateful that they’re in your life. Maybe that would be a ten. Again, if you want more time to think about this, pause this right now, because we’re going to move on. But you could spend as much time as you want pondering these things, to get exactly what would it be you want. The more clear, the better. The more specific, the better.
What about your career/finances? What would you need for it to be a ten in that area? Is it a certain dollar amount? Is it a certain level of position in your company? Is it a certain amount of growth or impact or reach in your own business? What would it be? Think about that now.
And if you are able to take notes on this, I would say, “Write this stuff down.” Even if you are somewhere, or you’re driving, whatever, just pullover and type it up on your phone. It’ll only take five minutes. Because when you write this stuff down, it’s powerful. Stuff shifts when you write it down. Get it clear what it would need to be in your career. Maybe it’s shifting careers. I don’t know. What would it need to be to be a ten? And for now, don’t get freaked out if what you want it to be for a ten seems impossible, or seems hard, or seems scary, or you say to yourself, “I’ve tried that and I can never get there.” Don’t let that color what you come up with. Don’t immediately lower your goals and desires to just avoid disappointment or fear. I’ll help you shift that in just a second. But first, we have to get clarity on what it is you actually want.
What about your friends, and family, or social life? What would you want there for it to be a ten? Again get specific here. Don’t just say, “I want some friends.” What kind of friends do you want? How many friends do you want? What kind of hang outs do you want? Do you want to be able to go see a movie with them? Or is it the kind of friend you can call up and say, “Hey, this just happened to my life and I want to share it.” Or, “Dude, this challenging thing just happened. I wanted someone to bounce an idea off of and get some support from.” Think about the kind of friends that you want. Or the kind of relationship and social interactions that you want. “I want to be able to walk into a party where I don’t know anybody, and have an awesome time.” These are all social things: friends, family, and it could be broader social gatherings, cocktail parties, and whatnots. Give it a number.
And the last one is your spiritual life. What did you give that? Do you feel totally connected? Do you feel supported? Do you feel a trust in yourself and life and something bigger than you? Do you feel like an isolated fragment? Is life drudgery, pointless, insignificant, and we’ll all just fucking die anyway; and all that spiritual stuff is bullshit? But maybe it’s love for you. But where would you want it to be, for you? I’m not telling you what to believe in, but just find what would give you a sense of spiritual connection, and define what would you need to feel. What would you be doing? What kind of practices, maybe for you it’s like a meditation practice, or something like that? Find what that is, and think about that and maybe jot it down.
Now you have clarity. If you need more time, pause this. Now look at these and just make sure you’re not automatically settling. That you’re not just reducing it because the first thing that you wanted was like, “No that’s too much.” One of my big things for 2017… it actually started in the last quarter or third of 2016 is Operation Ultra—I’m calling it. And it’s ultra health. So this is an area of my life that I have had stagnated in for a while. I was in decent shape and wasn’t overweight or anything, was fairly active, but I was never strong and powerful. I was never the guy who went to the gym and got really strong and powerful, and can do things and just felt totally ripped and strong in body. That was just not me. And I had all kinds of reasons and physical injuries and things that I told myself was a reason I couldn’t do that, and thanks to John Sarno I’m actually totally free of all that stuff. So, thank you John Sarno. You are the man! You’re my hero. In any case, I realized that I was probably not going to progress in the way that I wanted to on my own. I was like, “Oh, I’m going to wake up early and do push-ups.” And then I wouldn’t and my routines would be weak and I wouldn’t stick with them. So eventually I said, “I know what I got to do.” I got a good friend of mine who runs a gym in town. He runs a personal training business and I could go work out in his gym and get some guidance from one of his trainers, and have some accountability to say, “Hey, I’m going to be there, four days a week in the morning,” and just set myself up to win.
So I go there, and he’s happy. For years he’s been asking me, “Hey, you going to come work out? Stop being such a soft wussy.” He doesn’t say that. He definitely encourages me to take more charge of my health. I go to the gym, he’s happy about it, he’s interviewing me, a standard interview process he does for all his clients. In there, he’s like, “So, let’s talk about your specific goals. What are they?” And I share my goals, and it’s like, “I want to be stronger, be able to throw my kids around in the air. And I thought a little bit about, I also want to look strong, or whatever.” But I’m already downplaying it. So I called myself out. When we’re done, and he went into the next step of the process, I was like, “You know what, let’s actually rewind to my goals. I was trying to look better there, or I was trying to not seem vain, or I was trying to set my sights lower, because I was scared that I couldn’t achieve it, but you know what I really want man?” He’s like “What?” I watched a video on YouTube recently that was called Top 10 Celebrity Transformations. And these were videos about celebrities who were scrawny and little like I am. Who, over a course of several years, usually in preparation for a movie, got fucking ripped. They were just super powerful and muscular and they looked awesome and they looked like they could just punch through a wall because they were probably playing a superhero or something. I was like, “I want that!” And he’s like, “Fuck yeah! You want to get jacked!” and I was like, “Yes I want to get jacked!” I got excited and there’s a big smile on my face. And that was inspiring. That was energizing. That’s fun to imagine. Not just like, “Oh yeah, I can get into a decent shape,” No dude, I can be ripped. I can crush it. It was totally new because that was not even possible for me. I’ve heard so many stories about how I couldn’t do that, how I’d get injured, how I just don’t have a body for that. And so I wouldn’t even let myself think of it. I wouldn’t even let myself dream.
So, what is a ten for you in each of these areas? Go back and look over these areas and make sure you’re not settling and selling it short. You want to dream big. You want to think big. You want to be excited. If you’re not juiced by your goal, if it doesn’t put a smile on your face, if it doesn’t sound great, then maybe you need to expand it. Maybe you need to tweak it. Maybe you’re being too practical, too realistic. Fuck that, set it big! Set a big goal that you don’t achieve but that you make progress towards, and it excites you, and then maybe you don’t achieve it in a year, but you achieve in two years or five years. But you got to get juiced. You got to be energized by those things. So look over your list. In fact, that brings us to our action step.
So your action step for today, now that you have your wheel, is again go through those goals, make sure you’re juiced by them, make sure your ten is really a ten, and you’re not sort of settling ahead of time, but once you have clarity on that, then you got to put something into practice. If it’s overwhelming to say, “Oh my God, I’ve got to work on all of these six areas at once,” just pick one. Just pick the one that you’re most drawn to. The one that you feel like is most in need. Maybe it’s the lowest one. Sometimes we’re not most drawn to the lowest one— the one you gave yourself a two or three, but it’s what we need most. You’ll know. Check with your intuition. Feel your gut. See what really you need, and pick that one, and then do something. Some action in support of that. Like me calling up Josh, or texting him saying, “Hey I need to come in. I have a plan, I have a mission, and I want you to be involved and help me.” That was an action step. And, of course, going and following through and meeting with him in, and signing up, and going regularly. Whatever it is, you got to find that thing. You got to start that process now. I would say start that right now, start that today, because the longer you wait, if you’re excited or amped up right now, and then you’re like, “I’ll do it in two weeks.” No you won’t! The inertia will settle in, and habits and comfort seeking will take over. No! Break free now. Make a decision. Figure out which area you want to work on. Decide right now, and then just go. Just do it. Just pick some action, apply yourself, commit yourself, and watch what happens. And you can truly create by doing this, with each of these areas, in the wheel, you can truly create everything you want and more for 2017.
Thanks for being with me today. If you’ve enjoyed this episode and other episodes, I would request that you do me a favor and go to the iTunes page, iTunes search, or the podcast search, or however you found this podcast initially, and give it a review. The more reviews we get, the more people I can reach, and the more I can carry out my mission, which is to obliterate fear, self-doubt, hatred, and criticism, and bring more power, confidence, boldness, authenticity, humor, and love to the planet. So when you help me do that, you’re helping me reach more people with that message. Thank you so much for being with me. Keep me posted about your goals. Share your questions. Go to shrinkfortheshyguy.com. Ask any question you have, or if you like, share about your progress, share about your breakthroughs. I love hearing about those. Thanks for being with me today, and until we speak again, may you have the courage to be who you are, and to know on a deep level, that you’re awesome. Talk to you soon!
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