What Exactly Is Extraordinary Confidence?
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Learn the Five Major Areas of Extraordinary Confidence and How to Create it in Your Life!
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Hey, welcome to today’s episode of the show. I’m Dr. Aziz, and I’m excited because today is the pre-release of my new book called “The Art of Extraordinary Confidence” and that is the focus of today’s show extraordinary confidence and how you can start to live that, start to have that in your life and before you pause this and turn off and say, “Phew, extraordinary…” Man, I’m just trying not feel terrified when I wake up in the morning. I’m just trying to interact with somebody and not hate myself or feel totally awkward. Doesn’t matter where you’re starting. My guess is you do one extraordinary confidence to be able to do things you really want in this life. And extraordinary doesn’t mean like earn a billion dollars although you might want that, but I mean extra … I’ll explain what I mean in a little bit later in this episode. Kind of the major areas like social confidence, dating and relationships, money confidence, physical confidence, all these weight places where we can feel fully confident in ourselves, fully believe in ourselves so we can create a life.
That’s what we want and to me having amazing relationship is extraordinary especially in this day and age where so many people are breaking up, divorcing or not fully satisfied in their relationships, having an extraordinary relationship or a satisfying deep loving lifelong relationship with someone, that’s extraordinary. It takes extraordinary confidence. So those are the specific areas we’re going to be diving into today. I should let you know that today and tomorrow as part of the pre-release, you can get yourself a copy of the entire book, the entire 350-page-beast of a book. Don’t worry, it’s an easy read on Amazon, on Kindle for $0.99. What? That’s right; $0.99 so if you want to go get that now go to the art of extraordinaryconfidence.com/pre-release. That’s theartofextraordinary.confidence.com, all one word, theartofextraordinaryconfidence.com/pre-release … that’ll be P-R-E-R-E-L-E-A-S-E … I spell release on my mind, pre-release all one word. So you can go there and that will actually link you up to the page where you can get the E-book for $0.99, it will be kindle directly to your reader, phone or tablet or whatever and get started reading on that and we’re now doing a little raffle drawing here where we’re giving away tickets to… or eight tickets to my upcoming live event, “The Unlimited Dating Confidence” boot camp here in Portland on October, giving away a couple of opportunities to get full programs like “The Confidence Unleashed” system.
And other programs and the way you can find out about all of that is I’m doing a training today at 3 p.m. Pacific Time 6 p.m. Eastern called, “The Three Secrets of Extraordinary confidence and if you’re on my mailing list you have heard about it and you can call in, I’ll be sharing a bunch of Q&A afterwards so it’s a great way to interact with me and find out more about the book and the way we’re doing it is that you can get yourself a copy for $0.99 today and tomorrow and then we’re going to do a raffle based upon people that write reviews…so if you write a review for the book you have two weeks from today to write a review for the book, and if you do, if you’ll write a review you’ll be entered into a raffle. And the people that we select will get crazy prizes that range from of $1 to $2,000 in value and all you have to do is write a review of the book. It better be a five-star review. I’m kidding or am I? I don’t know but write a great review if you like it and we will give you a chance to win some cool stuff. So if you want to know more about that whole raffle process and how it works come to the training today, “Three Secrets of Extraordinary Confidence”. All the information is in your email…if you’re not in my email list, get on there now go to socialconfidencecenter.com to enter the email list for shrinkforthshyguy.com.
Get on the email list there to find out about all these goodies and if you missed it today like. “Oh I want to attend and be there,” we will send the replay out tomorrow so all the more reason to get on the list right now at shrinkfortheshyguy.com to find out about all these goodies get the book for $0.99 which is amazing and then also free stuff too. So it’s all part of my mission here to spread this as much as possible because…and we’re going to get more in my story today out… sub average to super-confident. I just want everyone in the world to be a lot more confident. That’s what I’m here to do so this $0.99 book is really going help and your reviews are going to help too because the more reviews the book gets, the more awesome I look, the more awesome the book looks to people who are thinking about buying it. And here’s a cool thing about this book and if you got my other one ” The Solution of Social Anxiety” you might already know this; this is not just like some pop psychology, here’s some quick tips; how to manipulate her into bed?
This is about deep confidence and this is rooted in years of clinical psychology work in helping people at the deepest level with their heart at shit and years of coaching and live events. And my goal is to deliver this super deep, super healing life-transforming text, in a way that actually my goal was to make it really fun and funny and engaging to read. So I think you’ll actually have a blast as you read it because that was my goal. Because no one wants to read like a psychology tone like, “And then in clinical trials of 74 individuals, capital N equals 74”, you don’t want to read that so I make it funny, there are stories about me and as you’re engaged as you’re reading, you’re transforming, it’s the goal. So check that out and let’s talk about extraordinary confidence for you. So what would extraordinary confidence… what does that mean first of all when I say that term, extraordinary confidence? What do you think of? What would that mean for you?
If you were to have… let’s say we could press a button right now, I don’t know maybe you’re driving right now or you’re walking or whatever like you can look down at some device on your dashboard over and just go and ping… and press the button and then boom… you are now infused with extraordinary confidence what color would be? I don’t know, green? Anyway, you’re infused with extraordinary confidence. Breathe it in, feel it, whoa, just try it on is a thought experiment. Now what? What is life like? What are you, like? Has your outfit actually transforms now that you’re extraordinary confidence? Maybe as you press the button you outfit transform, maybe not. Does your posture transform? Does wherever you’re driving to transform? Maybe we’re driving somewhere totally different to a different job, to a different place, to your amazing girlfriend or partner’s house. I don’t know. What would it be for you? Extraordinary, extraordinary confidence, extraordinary, beyond ordinary, let your mind go with it. Also as you’re coming up with things, notice also if there’s this kind of possibility for least… the possibility for least happening, no that’s not possible. “Oh I’m sorry about that, that’s not possible either.” If that voice is happening just notice, maybe feels impossible to you. I know it certainly did for me for many years. So, in fact, I’m going to share a little bit more about that.
My journey with that so I’ll tell you the story in just a second. Stay tuned, we’re going to take a quick break. During the break, think about extraordinary confidence for you. The more clearly you can get in all the different areas of your life. How you be, how you show up, what you’d say, how you talk, the volume that you talked about, the eye contact you’d make, all the nitty-gritty details as well as what you be doing? What you’d go after? If I really believed in myself I start my own business or I would rise through the company that I’m in because I believe myself I’d speak up in meetings and I take on opportunities instead of shying away. I communicate better with people and they’d want to follow me, I’d be more of a leader. Of course your dating life … what would you do there your friendship life, your social life?
Remember I was asking about the possibility for least? Maybe that’s been coming up more as you’ve been thinking about what you’d really want with extraordinary confidence, what would it be for you? And it reminds me of a section in the book I wrote called, “My story” sub average to super-confident and that’s where I would say I started. And I talked about what sub average is in the book but for me… so the average is basically walking around most of the day not feeling confident, not liking myself generally having pretty low self-esteem not thinking I could do much or achieve much especially in the areas that I was really passionate about. Not thinking people like talking to me, not approaching people especially people that I found attractive or cool or thought they would be interesting people and lots and lots of inner commentary about why I wasn’t good enough, about how I messed that up, about how I shouldn’t do that again?
Keeping me very small, that was sub average and as a result not pursuing a career that I found interesting, not dating anyone really ever and having a very, very small limited friend group, so that was sub average. I know it can get worse than that. I mean people can be agoraphobic, they don’t leave their house. They’re scared to go outside and check their mail because they’re so worried that someone might be there. No, I didn’t have it that bad, unfortunately and if you’re there, I still believe that you can get to super-confident. It’s just, imagine like…imagine a big ring, a big circular ring and at the very, very center, like little tiny hole, maybe your ring is only the size of a little dime or a quarter whatever the currency coin is and in your country and then it can expand as the size of like a grapefruit or a basketball and then it’s bigger and then it can be the size of a hula hoop. It’s like the yard across and then it gets, bigger and bigger, right?
That’s just your level so you know where you are. The same principles are going to get you from stage zero to stage one stage two to stage three, to stage four, to extraordinary, wherever extraordinary starts for you. Stage five, I don’t know, so I was definitely in a small very constricted version of this. And now I would say I have very high confidence. I can do all kinds of things that I never could do before in terms of speaking with people. I’m always interested after talking with someone about their experience after a party or a gathering how much anxiety that can be and I realize like, “I don’t really have that anymore. And it’s not that I was like the life of the party. Sometimes I am because I’m awesome, but maybe not, maybe just have a few conversations or whatever and maybe I did have an awkward interaction or interaction where I kind of wanted to get away from the person or I didn’t know what to say or whatever or no one laugh at my jokes.
That happens, shockingly that still happens to me but the difference is I leave the party and there is no sense of failure “I’m no good, people don’t like me.” That’s the part that I think is also extraordinary and I talked about in the book too extraordinary confidence is not becoming this perfect, invincible, flawless machine that everyone admires because you’re so perfect. That’s the illusion of confidence. So you always end up on top. You always win. It’s an illusion, it’s not real, it’s a fantasy. But real extraordinary confidence is an incredible power that comes from self-compassion, vulnerability, being totally okay with yourself as you are and just showing up in life fully and embracing yourself with all of your flaws and all of your imperfections no matter who you are, no matter where you are. Yes, embracing yourself when you’re still 10 pounds overweight.
Yes, embracing yourself after you made a joke and no one laugh or after you revealed too much to that person who seem like they’re listening and they were really engaged then you left and you’re like, “Oh my God, why I tell him all that shit, like all that stuff?” Accepting yourself just like, that just as you are, imperfect, that instantly leads to a higher level of confidence. That’s what I really believe so how do I get from sub average to this higher level of confidence super confidence you might say? Well that’s all in the book, you got to buy it to find out. It’s not a nonsense. I share in one of the training too. So but the core of it is that we need to identify the stories and excuses that we tell ourselves that prevent us from doing anything. We can cut off millions of opportunities and options in our lives by having a simple story in our head, for example, I had a story in my head for many years that said I’m not attractive. I’m physically not attractive or appealing to women, period.
So I believe that story and when I believe that story guess what I didn’t do? Talk to women, right? So those stories keep us incredibly limited and incredibly safe, safe from all those things like rejection and failure. Excuses are similar, I talk about the difference in the book those are more of the focus on the outside world. Those people aren’t giving me this, it’s everyone else’s fault. The stories are more like I suck. Those excuses and stories, you got to be able to identify those; see through them and find out what’s underneath and I’ll give you a great tip. You know what’s always underneath always, always, always? It’s fear. That’s it, fear. So it’s the whole chapter in the book so the book goes out, step up, is the first chapter, excuses, the next one, stories, is the next one and then the one after that, chapter four is fear. And we talk about how to face fear? How to deal with fear? How to overcome fear? How to master fear so it never stops you from doing what you want? And that’s another key to developing super-confidence is you got to face that fear.
And most people think facing fear is like gearing up for battle, I mean, “All right, fuck, I’m going to do this. Ah this sucks,” and there’s always tension and so in the book I guide you to actually face the fear in your body first long before the situation so that when you face in the situation, yes you might be freaking out but you also might be way more at peace and the more unattached we could be to the outcome, the more at peace we can be, so facing fear. And then the core of the book and the core of your transformation from sub average or wherever you are… maybe you’re not sub average, maybe your average, maybe you’re already very confident and you want to get that edge go to that next level. Then the core of it is action, that’s the fifth chapter in the book, action. And in this, twice as long as all the other chapters because I’m a huge believer that action creates every result that you want in your life. And once we’ve cleared away the stories and the excuses and learn how to overcome fear then we can get into massive action.
And the more actions you can take, the more rapidly you can take them the faster you transform and that’s what I did. So I…well, my process was actually… I wish this book existed for me when I was working through this, but I did get into action. There’s a lot more self-criticism in my action than what I teach in the book but if you could approach…for me was I want to approach women so I started to do it a lot. And instead of doing it once every six months, what about once every six days, what about once a day, what about six women in over the course of Saturday and Sunday out in the park? Out in this…in the mall, in the supermarket, by the fountain, that is massive action and that produces incredible results. And same goes for public speaking, for being able to start conversations, being able to be make people laugh, whatever you want to practice. The more you can practice the more you can take action, the better you get. And in that chapter, we talked all about the fear of rejection, the fear of failure, all the stuff that stops us from taking action and how to overcome it. And then we get into the benefits, the results of confidence and how to get more of those in our life; love, wealth, money and power.
So we’re talking about extraordinary confidence and I was getting to what’s in the book and by the way if you want to get yourself a copy of the book go to the art of extraordinaryconfidence.com/pre-release and we’ll link you there to copy of the book for $0.99. You could also just go to amazon.com and type that in or look me up Dr. Aziz Gazipura and the book will come up there too so that’s another way to find that gift for $0.99, it’s going to be awesome and I was going to talk about some of the benefits of confidence…the results.
And I decided to view a little off that so it’s not exact what we’ll be teaching later today on the training. So I’m doing the training today, three secrets of extraordinary confidence, you should check that out. You would have gotten an email about it from my list but sure there’s five things, five elements of confidence that I think are part of extraordinary confidence and I wanted to share this with you to see if they map onto yours. To me, if I’m going to have extraordinary confidence, these are the five areas that I want extraordinary confidence in.
One is self-confidence. Maybe that’s the core of it all, right? So self-confidence is basically this, it’s self-esteem which is I like who I am, as I am, I’m good, I’m okay. And then yes, I can do that. Those are the two components of self-confidence in my mind. It’s like, “Yes, I like who I am and yes I can do that or I can put my mind to it and I can do it. Hey you want to take on this project? Hey do you want try this? Hey do you want to increase that? Hey do you want to go for your goal, your dream? Yes I can do that.” Even if we’re nervous, even if we have doubts, I mean that’s been my experience in pursuing this stuff, because I’ve had doubts all the time but it’s like okay see those stories now I’m going to continue to take massive action even though I have doubts so that is self-confidence in my book and as overtime we have less and less doubt, more and more trust in faith in our ability and in life. Second element: social confidence. This one is huge for extraordinary confidence. Social confidence is I can talk to people. I can start conversations.
I can engage freely and openly with others. I can share who I am with others and I generally trust that people like me or there’s plenty of people that will like me. I don’t need everyone to like me but a lot of people will and that’s great and I can have the friendships that I want, the connections that I want. You know you have high social confidence when someone says, “Hey do want to go to this…there’s a guy in my one of my mastermind groups right now and he just posted that he was going to be going to a wedding where the only person he knew it this couple of hundred person wedding would be the groom and he’s going to be seated at the table he is going with no date and he was seated at a table… with 10 or 12 people or whatever that he didn’t know. That is a sign of social confidence. Even if he’s nervous it’s high confidence to go do that and then if you enjoy yourself and are able to connect and are able to have a good time or no matter what happens feel okay about yourself afterwards, that’s even higher social confidence.
Another area that I think is part of extraordinary confidence is money confidence. And this is, there’s a whole chapter in the book about this and that’s… I can feel relaxed around money. You’re not tense and nervous and here’s the thing, we think that as I earn more my money confidence will naturally go up and maybe that’s kind of true but in my experience not really for a lot of people. They can still feel anxious; they can still have all these hang-ups they can still felt tense about money. I know tons of people and this was my experience too. You start to earn more money and then there’s a sense of like, “Oh my God, it’s all going to collapse, it’s all going to going to crumble.” So you can still feel anxious. So for me, money confidence is I feel totally relaxed around money and I know that I can earn what I want and I can provide for myself and loved ones, my family whoever it is for you, that’s part of money confidence. Another piece of extraordinary confidence is well, one way to say, will be dating relationships. In the book I call it love. Love, man, that’s what we all want.
So with love confidence is I can create an amazing relationship that’s possible for me. I have the capacity, I have the skills, I’m desirable and worthwhile enough and there’s plenty of people out there who would want to be with me even if I haven’t found that person yet. And that’s a mixture of finding that person but it’s also a mixture… it’s also you learning how to love more and more with more and more confidence. And the love chapter in this book is probably my favorite chapter. If you’re going to get this book and you’re only going to read like a little bit of it like we do with so many books we read like chapter two, we’re like, “Yes, I got it.” I like purchasing it more than I like reading it. If you’re going to read just one chapter, read the chapter on love because it is life transforming and it is a deep dive into all the ways that we block and try to protect ourselves from getting hurt and then massively limiting the love that we can fill for ourselves, the love that we can receive from people that we’re already in relationships with and the love that we want to create in a romantic relationship.
We’re totally squeezing and constricting that down to almost like a trickle and we’re starving for it and then we’re running around trying to get approval and trying to impress others and it’s making us fucking crazy and as I see how passionate I am as I’m talking about this, I have to record an entire episode about love confidence and I will so stay tuned for that and get yourself a copy of the book because you’ll find a bunch in there. The fifth area…I don’t touch on this much on the book but I think it’s super important as well. It’s physical confidence.
And that’s the sense that you can freely use your body that you can make it grow stronger, you’re not living in perpetual fear of injury and I can’t do that or I’m not enough for that or I’m not good enough or I don’t have the willpower for that or if I do that… but I’m going to get injured so I can’t. And there’s tons of ways we can heal after injuries and stuff to have physical confidence, belief in our abilities. That’s a side one… to me that’s part of extraordinary confidence as I was coming up with this list today. So what does it for you? I am so excited, I’m like talking fast. I’m like foaming at the mouth. I love this topic. So I want to hear from you. Go to shrinkfortheshyguy.com and you can send me messages there.
Send me message or any questions you have by the way but I’m answering more and more of those and ask the shrink segments, also go to facebook.com/socialconfidence and you can enter your questions in there or you can just chat about what is extraordinary confidence for you and to you and if you want to dive even deeper join me in the training later today to 3 p.m. Pacific Time 6 p.m. Eastern, called, “The Three Secrets of Extraordinary Confidence” we’re going to go even deeper and how you can create this in your life and it’s possible for you. Any BS in your mind that says it’s not, it’s just a story.
So to find out about that training, you have to be on my mailing list…if you’re not on my mailing list, go get on there now and at least you’ll be able to find out about the replay, so go to shrinkfortheshyguy.com and you can sign up there and I will be giving away all kinds of cool stuff. You can still get your $0.99 copy of the book today, boom… and then write a review and if you write a review and email me and any of the emails or message me in some way, you can do it at Dr. Aziz, D-R-A-Z-I-Z at socialconfidencecente.com.
Email me that, “Hey I wrote a review and the name…here’s the name of my reviewer name because maybe it’s not your regular name, then we’ll put you in the pool, and it’s probably going to be a small pool, there should be a lot of people in the training but not all those people are going to write reviews…. you have two weeks to write the review. I hope that’s all clear, I’m all talking fast and excited hot and bothered anyway you’re awesome, I love you, join me in the training. Let’s talk about how to become extraordinarily confident and one last that’s the reason I’m so passionate I realize as I’m saying this is because that pathway is so clear to me now to go from wherever you are to more and more and more free. Just a matter of dedication sticking with it and I know you can do it so that’s why I’m so excited this feeling of liberation for you and for me and for all of us, So you’re awesome until we speak again, may you have the courage to be who you are and to share who you are freely and boldly with the world. We’ll talk soon.