Master Your Mindset And Body Language To Naturally Draw Others To You
If you feel tense, awkward, or unsure of yourself around others, then this episode is essential.
Dr. Aziz sits down to interview one of the world’s leading experts on body language, charisma, and confidence. You will discover powerful research, practical tips, and life-changing advice that can help you rapidly boost your power and confidence in all areas of life.
Click below to hear this episode!
Vanessa Van Edwards is a behavioral investigator and a published author. And she figures out the science of what makes people tick at our human behavior research lab which is called the Science of People. To learn more about Vanessa go here.
How we be more Charismatic, More Naturally Magnetic and More Charming
Hey, welcome to today’s episode of the show. Today, we’re going to be diving into how to have more power and confidence in yourself. And I’m particularly excited because I had a tremendous opportunity to interview someone who knows this stuff inside and out. I learned a ton as I was really listening to the interview. Later on, I was taking notes. I mean, this is really mind-blowing stuff and I felt really privileged to get a chance to talk with her. And we’re going to dive into that interview because it was kind of short and condensed and we’re going to fit it all into just this one episode. So, I’m very excited to share that with you. And if you want to go deeper into the show, go to shrinkfortheshyguy.com as well as facebook.com/socialconfidence.
So, it’s a great way to stay connected, to be involved in this process. But today’s really going to be about all these different ways that you can start building your power and confidence now. We’re going to start talking about body language that you can use, ask her some great questions about how we be more charismatic, more naturally magnetic, more charming. And she has some really interesting ideas on that. She’s read a ton of research and shares that in a really compact, simple way. There’s also some really powerful stuff in there about what if I’m more introverted, how do I deal with that and just dozens of great tips on how to be more confident, where to go, environments. I mean I was truly impressed as I have the opportunity to have in this conversation. So, I’m very excited to share this with you. As always, grab a sheet of paper. Open up a file in your phone to take some notes because prepare to learn some stuff that can really, truly increase your sense of personal power and confidence. And then with that confidence, what you can do to change your life, who you can talk to, how you can show up, how can you be different at work, in your business, how you can be more attractive and connect with people for dating and relationships and of course, just how to like yourself more, how to enjoy your life more. So there’s a ton in here without further ado, let’s dive into that right now.
My guest expert today is Vanessa Van Edwards. She’s a behavioral investigator and a published author. And she figures out the science of what makes people tick at our human behavior research lab which is called the Science of People. You can liken her to a geeky modern day Dale Carnegie where her innovative work has actually been featured all over the news, in media, on NPR, Business Week, CNN. She speaks all over the world and has a huge following of people who want to study her stuff because it’s very practical, it’s very solution-focused and it teaches us how to be more effective in our lives, body language, speaking, communication, influence. I mean, just a whole bunch of really useful skills, that can apply to all areas of our lives. So, thank you so much for joining us today, Vanessa.
Vanessa Van Edwards: Thanks so much for having me.
Dr. Aziz Gazipura: Okay, so I want to get started with … you have a video on your site, I was checking it out and reading it and you said, six personality or six factors that define our personality. You said charisma, attraction, influence, success, happiness and power. And I didn’t know what that meant to define my personality but as you listed each one of those, I was like yes, I want that one. Oh, I want that one too. Sure, I’ll take influence and power, yes, I’ll take some of that. So, what do you mean by the six factors, what are these six words and can you tell us a little more about them?
Vanessa Van Edwards: Yes, so what we found is in our lab, we’re constantly asking people inappropriately personal questions. And we even did a study when we were asking to read people’s journal entries. And in that, we were able to code different wants and values and desires of people. We found that this is kind of a interesting maxim about the human race is that, we are all extremely different in the same ways. So, power for example is something that in a way we all strive for but in our own way. So, your idea of power might be a quiet power strategy of close connections and learning, whereas someone else’s idea of power could be a charismatic, bubbly, center stage kind of a power. But the bottom line is that, power feed something into our self-identity. And so, what I like to do is look at each of these different areas and the science behind them and figure out how we can get those in our unique brand.
Dr. Aziz Gazipura: Yes, I love it. Well, let’s try to cover every single one but let’s get some of the main ones on here. So, power. Let’s talk, let’s go with that one. How can someone access more power in themselves, generate a sense of power in themselves, in their lives, in their communications.
Vanessa Van Edwards: Sure. Some of the interesting research about power has to do with capability. What they found is that, a lot of the time we strive for things that we think will make us successful. In other words, things that we think will make us money. So, we’re in high school and college and we think, what’s a good career path and so, someone might say, being a lawyer offers great job security, my dad knows some great lawyers, I can go to law school. That sounds like a great path. But it’s much harder to ask yourself. Am I good at the skills that a lawyer uses every single day? Am I detail-oriented? Am I good at what-ifs scenarios? Can I interact with people? Can I stay calm in the heat of an argument? Can I read people or speed-read people quickly? Those are the skills that lawyers are using every day. And so very rarely are we thinking about the skills that each job uses. Well, the thing about power is that, the less you feel capable, the less you use your natural given skills, the less powerful you feel. So, even lawyers who are pretty successful like they’re making good money, a lot of them who aren’t using their skills on the job, their natural skills, let’s say that they’re more creative, more big idea … big picture things. The details bog them down because they don’t feel capable while they do it. So, when we’re talking about power, I challenge listeners to think about what are the skills that you are most good at, what do you feel extremely capable of doing? When you’re doing it, you’re like, yes, I’ve got this. This is me, basically your best self. The more that you can integrate that into your job, into your day to day life, in your hobbies, the more powerful you will feel and the more powerful other people will perceive you.
Dr. Aziz Gazipura: That’s great. I mean it reminds me of a Les Brown quote, “There’s no substitute for confidence like competence.”
Vanessa Van Edwards: There you go, exactly.
Dr. Aziz Gazipura: Absolutely. I love the idea of looking for how to integrate that more into our life because some people might be like, yes, sure, I feel powerful when I’m skiing down a mountain. But the idea of being able to bring aspects of that, because you could drill down into what are they doing when they do that activity, what are the skills, and then how to bring more of that into their daily life. That’s really good.
Vanessa Van Edwards: It’s the same thing where we do a lot of happiness science in our lab because it’s a personal topic that’s always fascinated me. And what never ceases to surprise me is that people don’t always know what they’re good at and that’s crazy, like we’re in school, we’re taught to be kind of good at everything, like get A’s in all your classes. And we don’t really distinguish between even the skills within the class and even in English class. There’s many skills that you’re using as a student. Reading comprehension, memorizing vocabulary, verbal communication, presenting where there’s so many different skills and very rarely does the school or a teacher say, okay, you got a B in the class but you know what, your reading comprehension skills are off the charts. For you, reading and understanding and dissecting and taking big ideas out of books, that is a feature that you need to figure out how you integrate into your hobbies as well as into your future job because you are extremely good at that.
Dr. Aziz Gazipura: Hmm.
Vanessa Van Edwards: We don’t get that kind of feedback.
Dr. Aziz Gazipura: No. In fact, that raises another question which is … we’re going to pause here for just one moment and then we’re going to dive back into the interview with Vanessa right after this.
Hey, it’s Dr. Aziz here and I want to take just a quick moment to thank you for listening to the show. For really taking the time to invest in yourself and I understand your time is valuable. And I also want to let you know that I am deeply passionate about helping you really break free of whatever shyness, whatever anxiety, whatever self-doubt is stopping you from getting the relationships you want, meeting the women that you want, starting the business that you want or thriving in the way that you want in your life. And the reason I’m so passionate is because I lived it for so many years. And that’s my mission. I want every single person who wants to break free to be able to break free. And I want to invite you to a special opportunity which is to join me in a very small, intimate, Confidence Mastermind group.
And these groups are six months long and in the Confidence Mastermind it’s going to be limited to just eight people. And we’re going to meet regularly over the phone and have a very small, private, intimate live event for just the eight of us and me where we’re going to dive into your life and help you apply all this stuff. So you’ve been listening to show or watching YouTube videos and noticing something but you’re still living the same patterns. I get it and I found that the fastest and sometimes what it takes to really break free is to step up and do something. Do something big, take bold action. So I really encourage you to do that and I would love to talk with you more about that. To really learn about this and dive in, go to socialconfidencecenter.com/mastermind. That’s socialconfidencecenter.com/mastermind and there you’ll learn more about it, and you can also apply for that there, or just ask me the questions you have. So, I can’t wait to speak with you more about this and enjoy the rest of this episode.
How come or how do you help people own their strengths because there’s something about finding what you’re really good at, which I think people sometimes have blocks to even acknowledging that they’re really good at certain things and let alone like owning and saying great, okay, I’m going to step up and do more of that. There’s like this squeamishness or humility or something whether or like, oh, I don’t want to say I’m great at anything or I’m good at anything. How do you help people break free of that?
Vanessa Van Edwards: Oh yes. It’s … a lot of it is about our self-narratives. Our self-narrative is basically the story that we tell ourselves about ourselves. And so, I see this all the time with my students where some of them will say just like you just mentioned, I feel really capable, I feel really good when I’m in my backyard, building my deck or building a gazebo or whatever. They feel really capable of doing that. But I’m a sales guy, I’m the top of my insurance group. I can’t build decks for a living, right and there’s no self-hatred. They don’t even like that skill that they have and so, building into your self-narrative, that your skills don’t have to define you. In fact, your job, your skills shouldn’t define you, right? Like, okay, so, you’re a top salesman in your industry but that doesn’t mean that’s who you are. And so it’s separating out your skills and your job with aspects of your narrative, that you are a kick butt sales agent who’s extremely personable, you are amazing builder with your hands and can create wonderful things for your family, in your backyard, in your home life and you’re an avid churchgoer and you have a deep and strong faith, right? Those are all part of your self-narrative. They aren’t just who you are and so, I think that has been the difference.
Dr. Aziz Gazipura: So much good stuff there about, in a way, like diversifying and not having all of your eggs in that one basket which makes you extremely vulnerable to the ebb and flow of success in one given area.
Vanessa Van Williams: Exactly.
Dr. Aziz Gazipura: So, if you are, I am this salesperson and then for whatever reason, you have a bad month or several months, then there’s depressions and I’m a terrible person that can emerge. So I love how you can really buffer against that by seeing all the areas.
Vanessa Van Edwards: Yes, that’s a good way of putting it. One thing that we … it’s very similar ideas that we talk about, the science of happiness as crisis prevention that basically we ask you, how happy are you right now. Are you living the life that you want to live? And we give them a happiness audit. Anyone’s welcome to take it, it’s on our website where they basically audit their own happiness. It’s a like nice little benchmark. And if you rank really high in the happiness audit, fantastic. That is wonderful. If you want to learn more about why you’re so happy, what is contributing to that, that is crisis prevention. So the down the line, if you have a bad month or someone gets sick or heaven forbid, something doesn’t … happens bad to your family, you have a baseline, a groundwork where you know who you are and what you value and how to get back to that equilibrium as well, instead of I’ve been cruising and cruising and then all of a sudden, something happens and then you’re just lost, right, especially if all of your happiness eggs are in one basket and that absolutely can happen.
Dr. Aziz Gazipura: That’s good. Yes. We’ll get to web links in the end because I think that happiness audit sounds really valuable for a lot of reasons. Let’s switch gears to charisma because that’s a sexy one. That’s the one that people want, right? Charisma for speaking, charisma for dating and relationships, charisma for their social life, charisma, in general, is just … is a desirable trait or factor. So, how would you define charisma? What is it, first of all?
Vanessa Van Edwards: Well, I might actually go to the scientific findings on charisma because charisma are really hard word to define. If you ask most people, what is charisma or who’s the most charismatic person you know, why are they charismatic? It’s very hard to put your finger on that exact quality. So, what scientists found is that charisma is a perfect blend of two specific attributes, warmth and competence. That people who, with the exact same time, can showcase and signal high warmth, so, high engagement and trust and friendliness, at the same time, as high competence, loyalty, dependability, competence, power. If they can have those, the mix of those two things, that is charisma. And so, it’s actually … most people fall on a scale where if you think about it, it’s like a kind of a spectrum, on one end on the left hand side, you have competence, in the middle, you have charisma, on the other end, you have warmth. Where do you fall on that scale? Are you right in the middle? Do you kind of lean towards the warm side where people think of you as nice and sweet but maybe a little bit of a pushover? Or do you fall on the competence side of the scale where you are extremely dependable, extremely competent, extremely powerful but maybe a little cold, intimidating, standoffish? Where do you fall on that scale, because you need to figure out how can you get a little bit closer to the middle. I never want anyone to pretend to be something they’re not because that’s the opposite of charisma, that’s inauthentic. But how can you demonstrate a little bit more of the other side of the spectrum so you’re closer to that center circle?
Dr. Aziz Gazipura: That is really awesome. I have not heard that model before but it makes total sense because people who are trying to be really warm and friendly but doing so in a people-pleasing, approval-seeking kind of way are not charismatic. And that’s because … that makes sense for that model, they’re lacking that competence, that power, that sense of authority in themselves. But one thing you said there which was really interesting which is, you can’t fake this stuff. That’s inauthentic to try to be someone that you’re not. How do you help someone who doesn’t see themselves as warm and able to talk to people and they’re like I’m kind of, I see myself as awkward and quiet and so to do something else, to just try to be more outgoing or whatever, that feels inauthentic to me.
Vanessa Van Edwards: I get it because I am a recovering awkward person.
Dr. Aziz Gazipura: You too?
Vanessa Van Edwards: Yes, so much. So, so much where I had my own scale back in the day. It’s like I was on the cold and incompetent scale, right? I didn’t come across as either warm or competent. And so, what I think is really important is a lot of teachers or coaches or classes will say, here’s a prescriptive formula for you to use. And formulas are good. I understand they’re easier to remember but if you’re an introvert and an extrovert is telling you, be more extroverted, that will make you more likeable, there is no way that will actually work. A, you might not even have enough confidence to be able to fake it which good job, right? Don’t try to fake it. Or B, let’s say that you do decide to take this person’s advice and pretend to be an extrovert even though you feel much more introverted, that comes across other people. Our non-verbal signals are 12 to 13 times more powerful than our verbal signals. So even if you’ve memorized the lines of an extrovert, you’ve memorized certain things that you’re supposed to say, scripts that are outgoing. If your body language, if your hand gestures, if your face is showing pain, discomfort and awkwardness, people will always, always believe in non-verbal as opposed to the verbal. And so, you’re better off showing us even if you’re uncomfortable as honestly and comfortable than dishonestly uncomfortable. And so, I think that it’s much more about figuring out what you are naturally good at, what you naturally like to talk about and what I call your thrive, location and people. When it comes to interacting with others, I think there are Thrive and Survive events and people. So, I talk about this in my People’s skills course where I’m an ambivert. So, I’m kind of … I’m introverted, I need a lot of alone time during the days but I can sort of save up my energy for groups, small groups and I’m okay and I like learning environments but not like night clubs and parties. So for me, night clubs, really loud bars, those are “survive” locations for me where I just feel like I am barely making it. Part of that is because I felt that I can’t hear people. I can’t talk to people and so, I get really overwhelmed. Whereas my “thrive” locations where I just feel like much more relaxed, much more myself, a lot less pressure are learning environments. So, I love conferences, I love talking about conferences because I feel like there’s so much to talk about on stage whether you agree or don’t agree. Other “thrive” locations for me are small, intimate, themed parties or dinner parties. So, I have a group of friends where we have a pinot and pasta parties where we all bring pinots and different kinds of pasta. We just did a PJ party where you had to bring food that started with a P or a J and you had to wear your PJs. My friends are nerd lovers like me. So, those are “thrive” for me. And so. It’s about okay, I honor my “thrive and survive” things. How can I minimize my “survive” events and maximize my “thrive” events because that way, you’re honoring who you are. And you allow your natural self whether that’s introverted or extroverted or bubbly or reserved or an observer or a chatter whatever that is, it comes out naturally and you don’t have that underlying hum of anxiety.
Dr. Aziz Gazipura: That’s really good. I absolutely agree with that finding your place, where you’re naturally more animated, more interested, more alive. It’s easier to talk to people. You naturally have more things to say and really encourage that this doesn’t have to be the same for everyone. And I resonate with the not liking the bar scene and having a hard time thinking I needed to. I better figure this out and then when I just let myself pursue other places, it became a lot more or easy. But one question I’m curious about, Vanessa is, let’s say someone is listening right now and they want to be more outgoing and they don’t want to be … deep down, they know they’re not as shy and quiet as they’ve been living because there’s a part of them that’s like, no, I just … I want to be able to walk up and talk to people but I don’t know, I know I feel nervous and I feel afraid as I do it so I avoid it because it’s uncomfortable. But at the same time, I want to do it more and I want to be like that person who can talk to anyone and seem very confident in themselves.
Vanessa Van Edwards: Yes.
Dr. Aziz Gazipura: So how does someone build that ability and how do they demonstrate that body language if not through faking it?
Vanessa Van Edwards: Yes, first of all, good for you, right? If you’re in that place where you’re like, I want to get out of my comfort zone a little bit and chat with people I just don’t quite know how, awesome. That’s already a step in the right direction because you have that intent behind it of really wanting to meet people in a good way. So, what I would say is two things. One, have a lot to talk about and two, have the right locations to talk about those things. For example, I think it’s really, really hard, in any situation, to go up to someone and start just the standard conversation starters. What do you do, where are you from, how do you know the host. They’re okay and they start decent conversations. The problem is, that we’re so scripted with those conversation starters is I can have that conversation with myself right now. It goes something like this. So what do you do? Oh I’m a teacher. Interesting, what grades? Third and sometimes fourth. Wow, how about you, what do you do? I’m in marketing. Great. That was the conversation. That’s the conversation that happens every single time where it’s very back and forth and your answers are so memorized that you’re not really thinking at all and so you end up getting this wall at the end unless they do something really interesting that you can rip off of, it’s very hard. So what I’d like to do is I have a list of my favorite killer conversation starters from my website.
One of those, it’s my favorite is what’s a personal passion project you’re working on right now, which is just very different … it’s not too personal, right, like it’s something a little bit different and people, they haven’t answered it a lot before and so, it really gets them thinking whether they have a personal passion project or they don’t. I have learned the most amazing things about people and had the best conversations that I never would have had if I have stuck with the script of “what do you do and where are you from.” So, have a lot to talk about and that also includes the more hobbies and interests that you can have, the more that can come up naturally. For example, I’m a huge fan of the bucket list, of mastering your bucket list, of keeping it really active and current and always working on at least three items of your bucket list. I have sort of a system that I teach everyone on my blog to use.
Because when you’re working on a bucket list, not only is your happiness more increases but also you have so much to talk about. If you know that this weekend, you were breaking a world record, I’m actually going to be breaking a world record this weekend which I’m very excited about. Then your conversations the entire week are so much more interesting when they are like what are you up to these days or what are you doing this weekend. You have a really cool thing to talk about. So, that’s the first sort of side of it is, making sure you have a lot of substance to talk about. And last, the second one is to make sure that you are in the right locations to receive that. It’s really hard to make those conversations with people in loud bars and night clubs, in my opinion. Now, if you don’t actually like talking a lot and you like dancing, and like kind of being around people without having to talk. Then night clubs and bars are perfect for you, right? That is the perfect location. So thinking about what would work for the kind of connections you want to have.
Dr. Aziz Gazipura: Yes, I feel like every time you share something, there’s like seven or eight interesting things that I want to mention and comment and ask about and like okay, okay, filter it down, just pick one because as you are saying that, I realized that I found my place, I was actually really drawn to electronic music, I sort of go to these raves and festivals and events where there’s a lot of loud of music and you can just be around a lot of people and listen to really cool music and I could push the edge of my comfort zone of dancing and become more comfortable doing that. But then, if you wanted you could go elsewhere and talk to people.
Vanessa Van Edwards: Love it.
Dr. Aziz Gazipura: So, there was like a very … there was an introverted activity that you could do … or you could go do this. So that’s really teaching me something about myself when you’re sharing there. And the question I got to ask though because you threw a big hook out there, what world record are you breaking this weekend?
Vanessa Van Williams: I am going to be attending the largest breakfast in bed.
Dr. Aziz Gazipura: Wow.
Vanessa Van Edwards: It will be 600 people in bed. They got … I think they have like 500 different IKEA beds they’ve put together. And we’re all going to get in bed and we’re all going to eat waffles because why not, right? Like that’s on my bucket list, I don’t want to break world records forever and I saw that was coming up and I was like, done. I love breakfast and I love bed, perfect.
Dr. Aziz Gazipura: Nice and you get the glory of Guinness.
Vanessa Van Edwards: Exactly, exactly. Gosh, we hope so. We’re hoping that we’re going to break it.
Dr. Aziz Gazipura: Fingers crossed.
Vanessa Van Edwards: Fingers crossed, yes.
Dr. Aziz Gazipura: Well, that is awesome. It’s been great to speak with you and learn some of your insights. And the moment I’m going to ask just for you to share some of the best ways for people to find you. But one last thing I want to ask you, Vanessa, is, you know a lot of the people that I work with and are listening to this right now have spent much or most of their life feeling restricted or in some way that they were somehow less than those really confident, charismatic people. And that there’s almost like something wrong with me and those people are just different and better. And since you have really studied this and looked at the huge amount of science, I can hear just the way you share, you’ve read a ton of articles and research. Do you have any message of inspiration or hope for people who think maybe that they’re just … they just don’t have what it takes or they’re broken or they’re somehow different than really confident, charismatic, successful, powerful people.
Vanessa Van Edwards: Yes. Different is fascinating and broken is dynamic and awkward gives you fuel to meet your people. All of those things are right about you. They’re not wrong about you. And it took me many, many years to drop the word “normal” from my vocabulary and to just embrace my weirdness. Once I finally was like, you know what, I’m weird and it’s okay. Once I did that, so many other things that I kept thinking were wrong about me became okay and right. And so, I think it takes a big … a lot of courage to be able to reframe your self-narrative and the words you use about yourself. But if you can start with reframing the bad to okay, that’s the first step because you are okay and your different is good.
Dr. Aziz Gazipura: That is awesome. That’s great. I really appreciate that and it’s absolutely true and the reframe and the openness is just the step and when you really want to take in some of the tools and the strategies, I think you are a tremendous resource in what you’ve put on to the world. So, how can people find out about … you mentioned a number of courses, you mentioned some self-assessments or lists, you mentioned those awesome question conversation starters. How do we find all these goodies?
Vanessa Van Edwards: Yes, the more I can help, the better, like it’s all up in my website for free. So, scienceofpeople.com is our homepage and from there, you’ll see all of our articles, we have our labs area where you can play and take our audit that I mentioned, we also have like our little kind of start here button which is all of our favorite articles and we also send out our killer conversation starters in our emails. So, we also have a free influence course when you sign up and we send you a lot of the science on charisma and influence and those six characteristics factors that you mentioned in the beginning. All of it is up for free. I just love sharing the things that changed my life hoping that it can also change yours. So, I really appreciate you having me on.
Dr. Aziz Gazipura: You are most welcome. I do not doubt that you have … I mean, the resources, just these free sources are enough to change people’s lives and I know that you’re doing that every day. So, thank you so much for being on the show and for the work that you’re doing in the world, Vanessa.
Vanessa Van Edwards: Oh, my pleasure. Thank you so much for having me.
That brings us to the end of the interview and almost the end of our episode but we can’t leave without doing one thing, which is your actions though.
So, your action step for today is, I mean, there was a ton of valuable stuff in that interview, wasn’t there? I learned many things that I can apply specifically in my own life. And what I want you to do is pick one of those things for you that you learned from Vanessa or from me or some combination of that, some insight you had during our interview. And I don’t know what it is for you, it’s different for everyone, there’s like one moment, there’s like one sentence, there’s one idea, one concept, one breakthrough, one “aha” where you’re like, oh wow, maybe I can use that, maybe I can do that. And I want you to find what that is for you from this interview and write that down and then go do something with it. Apply it in your life. Don’t just hold it as some mental concept that’s kind of interesting for the day. We want to turn this. We want to convert that raw fuel into action which is what’s going to increase your power and your confidence over time.
We all know that. So, let’s find one thing you learn from the interview and apply it. That is your action step for today. And as always, thank you so much for joining me. You are awesome. As very small select group of people are actively looking for these solutions and listening to these episodes, I mean, there’s tens of millions of people who are struggling with confidence, maybe even hundreds of millions. And you’re one of the select few who is actually doing something about it. So, I really want to commend you and I want to encourage you by saying, the people that really do this, that really invest in themselves and study and learn and practice, they’re the ones that break free. So I’m excited that you’re on this journey with me and I can’t wait to speak with you more in the future. Until we speak again. May you have the courage to be who you are. And to know on a deep level, that you’re awesome. I’ll talk to you soon.
Thanks for listening to “Shrink for the Shy Guy, with Dr. Aziz.” If you know anyone who can benefit from what you’ve just heard, please let them know and send them a link to shrinkfortheshyguy.com. For free blogs, e-books and training videos related to overcoming shyness and increasing confidence, go to socialconfidencecenter.com.
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