How To Have The Courage To Do The Things That Scare You
The biggest force that stops us from being our most confident self in the world is fear. Fear of failing, of looking bad, of being judged or rejected.
Join Dr. Aziz in the second half of his interview with author and teacher John Parkin as they explore how to say f*ck it to fear and just get out there and do what you want to do in the world.
Click below to hear this episode!
Don’t Let Fear Take Over…Say F*uck It
Welcome to today’s episode of the show. I’m excited to be with you here today because we got a great remainder of the interview with John Parkin that if you haven’t ever listened to the first half it’s in last week’s episode go check that out now. And this guy is fun, man. He’s fun. I have not laughed to much in an interview I don’t think ever on this show and it’s funny because he’s got a great wit but he’s also just so good at speaking to the truth of the matter in a really light and playful way.
That’s how his books are, too. So it’s a real treat to be talking with John again today. And today we’re going to be looking at how to say fuck it and then just go do what scares you because so much of the time we hold ourselves back from doing something, you know. Maybe we really want to do it, I really want to go talk to her, I really want to make that sale, I really want to get that promotion, I really want to step up and speak up ore at meetings, I really just share freely with those people or joining into that group, I really want to but… There’s always a but and the but is I’m scared. And maybe we have some story. Oh it’s not going to work out, oh they’re not going to like me, oh I’m not good enough, but underneath that is just raw fear, right? We just feel fear in our bodies and we got to be able to say fuck it to that fear and then just go take the action. And the master of that is John.
So let’s jump into that interview with John right now.
John: It’s beautiful to experience that, isn’t it? It’s a beautiful thing to experience especially if you know if you’re understanding yourself you know what you’re like in a meeting or in a social situation or getting up and speaking but you know what you’re normally like. I mean, to get up and speak on stage in front of a thousand, two thousand people for me and I’ve done it quite a few times but it still makes me nervous for a few hours before and when I’m about to get up on stage it makes my heart pound. It’s really, really hard. So to have in mind what we’re normally like I meant to picture what it could be like in a very different way to be relaxed in that situation and actually just to enjoy it or to see it as an adventure. To picture and then when you finally get you to do that and you manifest that and the experience being complexly different and actually enjoyable its’ transformative, isn’t it? So I’ll tell you my story.
Dr. Aziz: Yes, we must. We must at least close that loop before we open 10 others.
John: It is embarrassing but I have told it in front of a lot of people now so it’s not that um… Because the story actually it was about going on the stage for, blimey I can’t remember which event it was but it think it was a hay house event And it was an important thing I was doing I think I was playing some of my music for the first time so not only was I talking in front of a lot of people there’s a lot of writing on it. I was playing some music for the first time and maybe even singing, I can’t remember. So I was nervous. And I went to the, I don’t even know. I have told it in front of a lot of people it’s now embarrassing to be thinking about what I’m about to say.
So I went to the loo. You know, when you’re nervous you drink a lot of water, don’t you? This is an awful thing.*0:03:55 you get nervous about a meeting you drink lots of water and you get to the meeting you want to go and pee all the time. So I’m careful before events I don’t drink too much but just drink enough to kind of keep myself hydrated. And so I basically wanted the time my pee my going to the loo pretty close to the time I was going on stage so I didn’t get caught short. I’m sorry for using the expressions that aren’t familiar to a North American audience but I didn’t want to be halfway through my half an hour talk and kind of get, God I got to go for a pee. So about 55 minutes, 7 minutes maybe before the I was due to be on stage in front of a thousand people I went to the loo and so I was basically standing up peeing and thinking about, okay just relax. I’m getting nervous by this time just calm down, it’s all right, and I kind of stumped a bit on my heels to kind of shake out my body a little bit and relax and, you know, you’re nearly there, it’s going to be fine and I kind of finished and I zipped up and I turned around to go out of the cubicle, I was in a cubicle in this and I looked down and I splashed find the term of it splashed a little on my trousers and my trousers were very light and it was very obvious. There was one particular mark on my trousers that was incredibly obvious that I had gone for a pee and missed.
And so I now have 5 minutes before I’m due to be in front of a thousand people with a big spotlight on me and I just go, God, ugh, fuck. Fuck! And I opened the door and okay what I need is a hand dryer.
Dr. Aziz: Yeah. That was in my mind immediately. You need a hair dryer and you need it STAT.
John: I need that hand dryer really quick. I went out and there were just paper towels so I grabbed the paper towels I started rubbing this mark and it just made it worse I’ve a little bit of paper towel on my trousers now so I have to get to another toilet. And I came out and this is like a backstage area. So I came out I opened this door and it went into this public area it was thronging with people. It was a break. I was the first one after the break. Hundreds of people everywhere so I kind of holding a water bottle I held my water bottle close to my leg to the stain and hobbled across this public area and said to somebody, can you tell me where the toilets are, please? I went to the toilet and there in these toilets were two like gorgeous hand dryers, stainless steel hand dryers. And I flicked one and I started to dry my trousers and after 5 seconds it went off and you know when the hand dryers went off and you put your hand underneath and it wouldn’t come back on again. And so I basically hopped and literally hopped to the other hand dryer and I put my hand under that and it didn’t even come on. So I’m now on one leg I’ve got my hands under the two hand dryers trying to get them to come on neither of them and come on. And I’m going, oh my God! And it’s like 3 minutes before I’m due to be on stage.
And at that point I realized I had a choice and the choice was a really fuck it choice. The choice that I really did think about is the first choice that went through my head my head was, fuck it I’m going. I cannot even see the possibility of standing on stage in front of a thousand of people with piss on my trousers. This has kind of happened I’m just going to run out of the door and I’m going out into the street and I’m going to catch the train and then get on a plane then go home back to Italy.
So I seriously considered that for a moment because I keep looking at my trousers and it’s not changing. It’s still there this already bit stain. And I thought, come on, come on, you’ve got to do it.
Okay, the next option is I say fuck it and I do it. You know, I faced the fear here which is of being humiliated and embarrassed in the whole awful thing and I stand up on stage kind of proud and confident and I don’t worry about the fact that I’ve got a pee stain on my trousers. And I thought, no I can’t do that. That’s just, you’re an idiot. You can’t do that.
And the third option that hit my head was I kind of like a more spiritual thing which is like, okay I can’t figure this out. I don’t want to run, I don’t want to flee, and I don’t want to fight, which is always the thing we have in those situations the fight or flight. I don’t want to fight and I don’t want to run here so what can I do? And it’s like, fuck it. I’m just going to come and give in and I’m just going to see what happens. And do I did, in that moment just take it moment by moment and see what happens. And I completely relaxed as I said that or thought that. And then I walked out and I’m kind of semi-defeated give up kind of way. I walked out of this public toilet, went through the hall again with all the people around, and I went then back into this backstage area and backstage area was about full of how many people, 5 to 6 people, *0:09:25 and other people and it was weird because I knew there was only that 3, 4, 5 minutes left until I was due to be on stage but somehow time spread out because I actually don’t know what happened. I don’t know whether they were a bit late and they called me up late it was actually 10 minutes but somebody another author engaged me in conversation and we got into it really great conversation that seemed to me to last for a while at least 5 minutes. And then somebody tapped me on my shoulder and said it’s time to go up on stage, John. So they took me up, they put my microphone on, and I walked out of the stage in front and they introduced me walked out in front of a thousand people and I started to talk which is my kind of prepared script about something and it was only about 2 minutes in that I realized what I’ve been going through, that I had a stain on my trousers and I looked down and there was nothing there.
It was one of the weirdest situations of my life because I can’t understand how I forgot about the fact that I peed on myself and I was about to stand in front of a thousand people. But that giving up, that kind of trusting that it was going to work out is what did it. And it was a completely miraculous situation and I also get me a story to tell that at the next talk that I did. But for me it also perfectly summed up how fuck it works in the situations that we’re talking about which is, you know, this I really fucking difficult. And you know, you know what it’s like, Aziz, with the building up. Once you’ve done one thing, once you’ve faced the fear and you’ve done it then you want the next, don’t you? You kind of, okay I can do that, that’s easy. I can do that. What’s the next thing? Okay I go out and I talk to this many people, okay I can do that. So you keep jumping up a layer and then you realize that’s a great thing about it, that’s a great kind of learning, or it’s a great teaching. It’s like, you know, when you do face the fear and do it you will actually be able to do it. It will become habitual and become natural. So there is the thing about facing the fear and doing it and there is thing which you read that in the book of kind of go out and fuck out more. And I do that occasionally. I do say no to a lot of stuff and I do kind of walk out a room when I can’t bear it anymore. But this third kind of way was just to complete a beautiful insight for me which is I maybe don’t have to have a strategy here, I just kind of give in to what’s going to happen and that’s a beautiful way to live life as well. If I have any ambition it’s to live my life more like that.
Dr. Aziz: Yeah. I mean what a…
John: I’ve talked too much. You talk.
Dr. Aziz: Say fuck it to talking too much because it’s great stuff and I love it and that’s story is just like hilarious and powerful and, you know, I feel a shift. I feel like I’m relaxing in my body as I hear you tell that story so it’s a very powerful way of teaching and getting to that exact point of like our brain is trying to control everything inside of itself. Like I’m going to control how these people, these thousand people are going to see me and I’m going to control this stain on my pants, and I’m going to control this, and it can’t control anything. So it’s just in the state of like, you know, squeezing and stressing and when you say something like that like fuck, fuck it, okay, I don’t have to figure this out let’s just see.
We’re going to pause for one quick moment and then resume with our interview with confidence expert, John Parkin.
Dr. Aziz: I mean you’re stepping into the right flow of life and I think that’s a beautiful thing and that leads actually to that thing I mentioned earlier about, you know, when we step into that I want to get your thoughts on this and take it as far as you want in the spiritual direction because fuck it to trying to not talk about that stuff because people might not like it but my experience is, for many years I would’ve tried to explain everything, you know, by what sort of in the rational scientific western paradigm of you don’t see it it doesn’t exist kind of training that I had. So I was like, okay I noticed that if I let go, say fuck it, I get a better response and this first started with women and dating and then it progressed into business and clients and customers and business deals and it’s when I say internally, fuck it, and I really let go or let go 80% or whatever or something then I get a very different response.
And at first I was like, okay my body language, my voice tone, and then energy too but then I started to think it feels bigger. It’s like not only do people pick up on it but stuff starts coming into my life out of nowhere that is exactly what I want. And I remember this really struck me just using this example with women. Because it was the first time it really happened when I really, it was so unusually profound that still sticks with me and I was my story but I was really crippled with shyness around women for many years in my life and then when I did start talking to them there’s so much attachment of needing their approval and all these things. And I did a lot of work on that and I really got to a place of like fuck it. And I remember one day I was just in a space of that and I interacted more and just really I don’t care, I don’t need this. And remember I was just chatting with the cashier at a supermarket as I was checking out and maybe four flirting with her but I don’t remember. And I’m walking out of the supermarket and I’m the parking lot and I’m walking towards my car and I hear in the distance like, hey. And I keep walking because I didn’t pay attention and I hear it again I turned around and there are these two women that are moving towards me and I didn’t consciously register it but I like, oh they were behind me in the line I really didn’t pay attention to them and they come out to me one of them just like and they’re very beautiful and I’m sort of shocked by that. And then it was like, hey how are you doing? I was like, good. And she’s like, what are you up to? And all of a sudden I realized, of she just wants to talk to me.
And I was like it was the first time that happened but stuff like that happen more and more and then I’ve noticed it in many different situations and I’m curious about what you seen, what clients or people from the retreats have seen. Like, what would you think about that?
John: Well, first of all, I think that you’ve just expressed that over beautifully and articulately, so thank you. That was lovely to listen to and nice story as well. That’s better than the pee on your pants story, isn’t it?
Dr. Aziz: Well, I have to suddenly try to warm up all my guests, you know.
John: I can’t do that. I’ve just gone to the other end, haven’t I? I just try to intentionally warm down on *0:17:23.
Dr. Aziz: You know this peeing on yourself… You know I have this story about how hot women approached me all the time. So, how about that?
John: Well can I tell you the time that I shot my pants in front of… Yeah that’ll be good. That’ll be good. I’m just going to go lower and lower and more humiliating and embarrassing and you just get higher and higher just to a God-like status.
Dr. Aziz: I shot my pants…
John: I’m the Gollum to your Bilbo.
Dr. Aziz: I went to the, I’m going to box the British terms here but I’ll just make up then. I just went to, you know, number 11 at the chancellor’s mansion and then that’s where I shot myself.
John: Oh, God. Now let’s lose that image.
Dr. Aziz: Yes. Let it go. Gone.
John: What are we talking about? You asked me a question, didn’t you?
Dr. Aziz: About how things, you know, kind of come to us when we let go.
John: Ah yes. Yes, yes, yes, yes. This is a big one, really, because I’ll tell you a great book of anybody interested in reading background to some of this stuff a great book on this is a book called, The Field, which I always recommend actually is the best guide to this stuff which is. The Field is basically, it’s a journalist. She lives in the UK but I think she’s originally American journalist, Lynne McTaggart, who talks about it’s where modern science and spirituality are not actually, it is quantum physics so this is quite old science some of it but where science and spirituality *0:19:11. She talks about this field which is the zero point field or the quantum field. The idea is that at the very, very small level the quantum level that everything is connected, that everything is an energy and that something on one side of the planet can affect something on the other side of the planet in an instant like that even though the two things are apparently separate. So this whole range of very peculiar ideas in quantum physics that are very interesting this kind of this scientific version of the spiritual ideas everything being one and everything being interconnected that you find in a lot of the old spiritualities.
So that’s all very well and good. It becomes relevant to me like it became relevant I suppose to some delight young in the kind of *0:20:05 stuff. It becomes relevant to me when interesting things start to happen in my life. So when the big coincidences start to happen or when I create an effect that I didn’t anticipate or when I have a thought and then I manifest something already quickly. And what I’ve noticed over 20 years of doing this stuff is that that happens when I’m relaxed and doesn’t seem to happen so much when I’m not relaxed. So the miracle seems to happen when I’m pretty chilled out or when I’m in a relaxed state of mind when I’m in a fuck it state. And Lynne McTaggart talks about a lot in that book about how you, because all the quantum physicists know what happens at quantum level but they can’t see it happening at our level, the big stuff level of the solid human beings. This is the Newtonian Physics, the every action there’s an equal opposite reaction level. So all the quantum physicists want a dog to be able to run through a tree, they want to turn around in order to be, you know, limitless possibilities. You know when I turn away from something behind me it’s limitless.
When I turn back it manifests into a dog banging its head on a tree. That’s the quantum physics idea. What the person the spiritual investigator realized is that it’s the relaxation that can kind of unlock some of the stuff in your life and that’s what in the end Lynne McTaggart gets to. A lot of the experiments and for example the psychic experiments that are being done on the kind of psychic spies in North America in 1970s I think, 1970s and 1980s funded by the CIA. What they demonstrate it was amazing stuff and there are lots of great stories around al that area which is what I’m going to but there was the very, very key finding which a lot of people ignored which was the psychic, the successful psychics would become successfully psychic it seems by becoming very playful and by being very relaxed. And they observed this, the scientists, and what they did is they got ordinary people like you and me, now we’re not ordinary people are we? We’re superhuman, we’re God-like. We’re God-like stain-making humans.
Dr. Aziz: Stain-removing. You use your God-Like powers to make advantage.
John: That’s true. Maybe that was you from your God cloud was removing the stain. Maybe, when hearing the story now you projected back into the past to years ago. So they got basically ordinary people in and they basically found ways to number 1 relax them and number 2 make them playful. So they give them for example video games to play or they’d say, okay before we do the real experiment we just want to ask you something. So they I don’t know what else they did but I think it was video games. And what they found was that these ordinary people could actually demonstrate psychic skills as powerful as the professional psychics when they were in that completely relaxed state. And let me use that as an example of the way to tap in to this field, this weird stuff is to relax and be playful. And you find this all over the place and then the best healers will say, well I don’t, you know, about the healing ii just do it for the fun of it, you know. The most successful people, the most successful business people when you get to it and this is not on a psychic level but this could be about manifesting stuff in very peculiar ways they tend to be really relaxed.
Some of the most successful people are very, very relaxed people. But in my life I’ve noticed that to get the weird stuff happening and the weird stuff is you know an anticipation of an event, being slightly psychic you know, understanding what other people are thinking, or manifesting things so I might say, okay I put out for a parking, you know classic stuff, I put out for a parking space on the high street of whatever town or I put out for the right, you know, web designer to come into our lives in the next week. When you do that from a relaxed place and you’re really relaxed about it it happens in totally miraculous ways and I think part of the reason. You see I don’t even know what I described is spiritual to me it’s kind of energetic, really.
This stuff really does happen and really does work in a way that most of us are coming from a materialistic kind of, you know it’s a physical world with separate beings everything solid. We have feelings but, you know, we can’t hear other people’s thoughts or feelings. All that that’s the background but it’s actually not like that underneath but there is another aspect to life where lots of things if not everything is connected and that my fault can have an effect on somebody on the other side of the planet, you know. And if I think about my mother now and I relax it will have a physiological effect on her and those things are demonstrated in scientific experiments.
So back to our, I’ve done it again, I’ve talked too much. But it’s much more fun when we’re joking. Anyway, back to the point of you know what does in these situations either doing a meeting or a social situation what happens when you relax or what happens when you say fuck it which to me is one way to relax around it because it addresses head on this thing of this is so important or this is too important, you know. Oh my God if it goes wrong I’ve had it, oh fuck it it doesn’t matter. When I say, fuck it it doesn’t matter I relax, relax physiologically, my brain relaxes, the whole thing relaxes. So as well as the physiological effects that other people will pick up on is whether the psychological effects which makes me funnier, stupider, and probably more likeable in that social context or even, you know, in the business context more creative so I make solutions more quickly. There’s another level as well which is the where we’re all connected to the energetic level which means I, you know, there’s incredible things happening. I’m pulling people towards me, other people are bouncing off me and the situations are changing. I’m super perceptive about a situation because I’m more relaxed.
So it’s like in a video game, I don’t know in not good at analogy, but it’s like flicking a switch from paradigm 1 which is, you know, this is a situation of the beings I’ve got to win them over to paradigm 2 which is kind of more of a hippie paradigm. It’ like we’re all connected, this is all beautiful, everything will work out, I trust that t’s going to be a gorgeous thing and whatever happens I see it as an adventure and will all benefit. You know, to me.
Dr. Aziz: Yeah, I do. And, man, paradigm 2 is a hell of a lot more fun having lived in both, you know, and falling back into one when I’m distressed or reverting or something but then coming back to paradigm 2 and the thing that, you know because I sometimes work with people a little more, you know, listen, Aziz, I want to get results I want to improve my sales confidence or grow my business. Come on now. You know, and the way that I kind of win them over is like, listen this woo-woo stuff this more hippie stuff that we’re going to work on your inner game that actually is going to get you better results in this area in your life and that’s an initial cell that actually really works because it’s true and if you’re clenched inside, your solar plexus is tight, your chest is tight, your face is tight, and even if you’re trying to hide it, you know. I want this person to like me, I want this person to buy from me, I want this, you know, from them, you’re going to repel them.
John: You really are. They feel it, don’t they? We all feel it.
Dr. Aziz: Yeah.
John: Whether we know it or not we feel it.
Dr. Aziz: Yes. We pick up on it. It’s like *0:28:43 all our sensors that are beyond our conscious mind. And I know we’re going along here. There’s one last thing that I wanted to share which was from your book which I thought was phenomenal as I mentioned before but about the, and this is looping back to about what other people think of us and fuck it and there’s a section in there where you write about what’s really going on in other people when they’re judging us or giving is advice or other stuff. And it’s about a man who approaches a woman they work together and he 4sort of takes her aside and wants to give her some friendly advice about how she’s carrying on at work, she has dated several of the people there, and he’s worried about her getting a reputation as being, you know, promiscuous or something and I love how you break down what’s really happening there which, you know, if people ever read the book it’s basically he is attracted to her, he wants her, he feels rejected, and so now he’s coming at her with all these stuff and that happens, I’ve seen it happen many times with clients of mine and my own personal life where someone comes at me with advice or criticism and it’s not about me, it’s about them and what’s going on.
So, I’m curious, I thought that would be a great way to kind of tie a full circle, you know. How do we, what are your thoughts on that about it? You know, coming from someone else how do we hold that? How do we hold the feedback or criticism that we get from others?
John: There’s that line, what you think of me is none of my business.
Dr. Aziz: I never heard that. I like that.
John: It’s nice, isn’t it? It kind of really works and it, these lines can become like my mantras for it and it’s kind of this one level to kind of say, well, you know, what they’re saying even if it’s about me is like probably not personal it’s probably their stuff, you know. So it’s kind of an easy reaction to it’s their stuff it has nothing to do with me. But the *0:30:53 there’s nothing it’s none of my business in any way. It’s powerful, powerful. I’m going to throw this phone out of the window it has now stopped it saved my phone.
Dr. Aziz: I like how much you prioritize this interview. It’s like, I don’t need this thing.
John: I wasn’t *0:31:16 I really had said fuck it. If the window’s open I was just going to throw it.
Dr. Aziz: My phone is too precious a sweet, sweet smartphone device I could never part with that. It’s my second *0:31:33.
John: No really. This is only a 10 Euro thing but I would’ve…
Dr. Aziz: Okay. Yeah.
John: Now if it was my smartphone then now you’re talking of course not. No, no. I would’ve just sat on it. So yeah this thing of how people are, I mean it’s this is the such essential stuff, isn’t it? Because it’s there in every moment of the day, it’s there in every interaction we have we just take it personally all the time. And of course, sometimes it’s personal. I mean, that’s the truth. Part of the trick is to be able to know *0:32:12, you know. Somebody said actually you’re boring you always go on about yourself. I can’t bear to be with you anymore, blah, blah, blah. And you kind of go, none of my business this is your stuff. I’m probably missing something that actually I found a bit too boring in talking about myself too much and so there are going to be times when you need to really listen and it is about you but generally it’s not about us and it’s other people’s stuff. So fuck it. And the fuck it then becomes, again that doesn’t matter so much. Well it doesn’t matter whether it’s their thing or it’s not it doesn’t matter so much.
The progress really is generally n fuck it is not selfishness but it’s from placing too much importance on the outside stuff whether that’s how we’ve tagged a situation, you know. The interview is important, the job is important, the economy is important, that’s how we’ve tagged it or how we’re tagging the input that’s coming in whether it’s the friend saying it, the teacher saying it, whether it’s our perception of, you know, how we’re going to be seen when we go out to that party or whatever. So instead of placing so much importance on the outside the external stuff stimuli is kind of going inside more. It’s always more about going inside and going, okay what’s going on here? How do I feel? What do I want? What do I desire? What should I say? What’s my truth? And to make it a bit of a link there when we get into our truth it automatically relaxes us. So I’ve done lots of tests on this and it’s actually pretty much the essence of a lie detector test because you can’t lie and be relaxed at the same time. That’s what the CI are testing, testing of a lie detector test. I mean this is an amazing, one of the most amazing perceptions for me that it’s impossible to lie and be relaxed at the same time. And what that means I don’t mean lying as in, you know, no I wasn’t there in the bank with a stocking over my head and a shotgun, lying at a subtle level. Lying is about, oh yeah I’m really happy thank you. No, it’s great. Oh, no, I’m really happy to go and pick up the kids, you know. Oh, yes, it’s a great job, you know. What a wonderful presentation. That’s lying. They’re all lies one level or another. Some stuff we have to say to other people but generally, you know, the thing that says, yeah I’m really happy, it’s great, which is what we tell ourselves all the time. It’s a lie and we can’t relax in that. But we can only relax in truth so when we tell the truth to ourselves or to others it relaxes us.
Dr. Aziz: Yeah.
John: And when we relax it can make us tell the truth which is that’s where come from as well, isn’t it? When you and I completely relax and we go out into a social situation we tell the truth. Which is like, oh yeah, what the fuck are you talking about? Then people start to laugh. I said what the fuck are you talking about?
Dr. Aziz: Yeah. They do and people will, yeah. I’ve absolutely, you know, I can’t remember the last time I’ve been in a conversation with someone where I’ve just kind of nodded and felt tight in my body and just tried to agree with them. I mean, I used to do that all the time and now I’ll interrupt and I’ll be like, I don’t exactly know what that means, what do you mean? What are you talking about? And if I do it in just a relaxed way or playful way people are happy to share and I just looked at the time here I feel like we’ve *0:35:58. We’ve had 17 I don’t know how many *0:36:00 on your list I know I got 3 or 4 of mine so.
John: We could go on, couldn’t we?
Dr. Aziz: It could go on but this is a phenomenal, I mean I just I think you have from the work you’ve been doing for so many years and working with people in these retreats and really teaching this stuff I think there’s some profound freedom to bring it to the way, way back that the 2 poles approval versus freedom I think you can really help people to relax and to step into their more and more freedom in their life which is incredibly fulfilling and exciting. And if people wanted to learn more about you, about the retreats, about books, how could people do that?
John: That’s. What you say, Aziz, that’s very sweet of you. Thank you and you’re doing amazing things, too, I can see that from what I’ve seen of your work. It’s brilliant what you’re doing. To find out more about it is quite simple really. I mean, we are on Facebook and twitter and everywhere but our website is thefuckitlife, fuck spelled out F-U-C-K which makes it hard occasionally, but the fuckitlife.com or just Google the fuck it life and you get to our site and it’s possible on there actually to do a fuck it test to see how fuck it you are and that’s on the front page. And so you can basically get a score of how fuck it you are and you sign up for that so that means you can then get email from us as well.
Dr. Aziz: That’s fantastic.
John: Stupid emails from me every couple of weeks.
Dr. Aziz: With loads of embarrassing stories.
John: No I haven’t told that one to our list, actually. I haven’t told the pee story.
Dr. Aziz: You got to say that one for the interaction and the live events. There’s such a drama to it that it’s…
John: You can’t tell it too many times. I mean when I did tell it, I do tell it I take a bucket a couple of times and I can’t really do it again but I have a bucket on stage and I act the thing out as well. Including with live stain created by water a stage stain.
Dr. Aziz: That’s phenomenal. Great! It’s been a pleasure talking to you and I look forward to doing one again in the future.
John: That’d be good. It has been great *0:38:26 to talk, Aziz. Thank you very much and I hope you’re listeners enjoyed it and benefit from it, too. It has been great. Thank you.
Dr. Aziz: That brings us to the end of the interview and the end of our episode. But of course before we go anywhere we got to leave with what’s, that’s right, your action step. Because none of this stuff does anything for you if you don’t put it into that’s right, the action. So let’s jump into that right now.
The action step you can probably guess based upon what the show is all about which is, you know, say fuck it and do what scares you. Your action step is to say fuck it and do what scares you. So it could be something real small, it could be something big, you are the one who as to determine your rate, your pace, your own progress, but just find that one little thing, aahh, take a big sigh before and say fuck it and then just do it. Just do it. Just fuck it and do it and if you can get in that habit of just saying fucking and doing it and fuck it and do it, it’s amazing how much you can start to just get a momentum in your life and start making that progress more quickly and you can take on bigger things and bigger risks because you can handle it. You can handle it if you make a joke and people don’t laugh. You can handle it if you try to, you know, have sales conversation and say no. You can handle it if you walk over and talk to that woman and she doesn’t want to talk to you.
You know, fuck it, do it, see what happens, and then do it again and then do it again and again. So that’s the general process but for today the action step is just to do it once and you can do that and bring that into your life you can really start to see a powerful shift that accumulates and builds up your confidence over time.
So thanks so much for joining me for today’s show. If you’re enjoying it, if you love thee episodes, please by all means go to iTunes and give the show a positive rating helps me reach more people and then we can continue with a mission of operation mass liberation. Helping as many people as possible break free from self-doubt, self-criticism, shyness, whatever is holding them back so that they can be more of themselves because that’s what I’m all about and that’s what you’re all about if you’re listening to the show and you made it this far in this episode.
So by all means let’s spread this to as many people as we can, give it a five-star rating on iTunes, and tell people about the show, you know. Send them a link. Give them a chance to listen to it and get some of the benefits that you do as well.
So that’s much. I love doing these an having these conversations with you and by all means go to shrinkfortheshyguy.com if you want to send me a message there or an audio message and I can incorporate that into future shows and answer any questions you might have.
So thanks again for listening and until we speak again.
May you have the courage to be who you are and to know on a deep level that you’re awesome. I’ll talk to you soon.
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